You'd think I'd be used to sitting it classes by now. I mean, I had 13 years of primary education, 4 years of college and a year of law school. And yet, I get up in the morning and think, "Ugh. I have to go to class again." Why do I think this way? I am here voluntarily, as it were, so you'd think that I would WANT to be here. And, to be honest, it is not like I have to get up early. I mean, my earliest actual class is at 11, so I could really just get up at like 9:45, hop in the shower and be out by 10:15 or so to catch the bus. But alas, I wake up, and grumble grumble, I battle with going to class. **sigh**

Wouldn't it be nice if we all went to school, or jobs, or whatever, because we really liked going? Like if I got to go to classes because they were fun? Because I truly enjoyed the learning I was going to that day? I suppose that is a bit idealistic. Because, as far as I can tell, no one really LOVES their job. Sure, there are some people that like their jobs. They lucked out to find a place in the world that they are truly happy in. But even those people don't always LOVE their jobs. Maybe they get cruddy pay, or maybe it sucks the life out of the rest of your day. So I guess Dennis Leary really is right. People expect to be happy all the time, and in reality, happiness comes in small doses. Like a cookie. Or a hug from a friend. Or being told you did a good job. Or that lovely tickly feeling that you get from helping someone else. Hmmmm... I guess that I need to just stick with bouncing from happy bubble to happy bubble. And then life will be grand. Until then, I'll just go back to class...

Wow I'm sleepy. I got up waaaaaay too early this morning. But, in a twist of irony, I ran into an old classmate from high school. So that was cool. We caught up and such, which was rather nice, since we were both waiting for the same disgustingly slow train. Tonight I get to hang out with some friends and relax a bit. yay week being over!

oh yeah....I won my case. :-D

I must share this great quote from my professional responsibilty class:

“It thrilled me. Not like a surprise party or when you are on a first date. But thrilled like a car coming into your lane heading right at you in the middle of the night. It scared the heck out of me.”

Now tell me that law school doesn't have great quotes...

Well, my day is crazy, per normal. Ever tried to get information from a government agency? I got to play the transfer game. This means I call, get transferred, speak, get transferred again, and again, and again, till I finally get transferred to the right person, only to have them being "out at lunch" for a few hours. UGH! Now I know why people get irritated with the government. **sigh** Back to work...


My quote of the week:

"I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me."
~ Mark Twain

Interview tomorrow. And I am nervous. grrrrrrr....if I can't sleep tonight, I am gonna go bonkers. Hee hee, I used bonkers in an actual sentence....

I got no sleep last night. I just couldn't fall asleep, and therefore I was tired when I got up this morning. Amazingly, this did not deter my brain from suddently snapping awake and deciding it was time to work. I love ultra productive time, when my brain is amazingly clear and actually wants to get stuff done. I am firmly convinced that these brief periods of rapid activity are the sole reason I have managed not to fail out of all of my respective schools. So GO MY BRAIN for getting me through another week of scholastic acheivements.

BTW, I love my friends. Thanks for the support kids. I appreciate it. :-D

Yeah, I've actually been kinda busy this week. Well, not really. More like I spent this week catching up on my work, my life, and a little bit of my sleep. I have not caught up to my sanity, but it had such a head start, I don't think it is EVER coming back. The unfortunate thing about having "free time" is that I, being my usual self, had time to think. And for all of you who know me well, you know this is not necessarily a good thing.

So this week I pondered, "why am I in law school?" The obvious answer is "to get an education, so I can be a lawyer, duh." But, honestly, I don't know if I want to be a lawyer anymore. And I am not quite sure I ever wanted to BE a lawyer. So then I go to the next answer, that some of my classmates use, which is, "the economy sucks." Of course, I can't use that excuse, since I had a job. One that I rather liked, actually. Now, granted, I was not going to work there forever, because one can only float on a boat in the Bering Sea for so long before the fun wears off, or until they become as nutty as the guys I worked with. But I could have easily worked there for another year or two. So I can't blame the economy. So I came up with another answer: because I had to have the highest degree in my immediate family, my mom has a masters, and I couldn't get into med school. Oh, and I have no business experience. Which, in retrospect, is a really really lame reason to go to law school.

Now, let it not be said that there are not parts of law school that I like. I had great profs last year, and some great ones this year as well. And I like working with my clients, and helping them and such. But, realistically, I am thinking I am not gonna be such a good lawyer. Not that I am not capable, but because I lack the vital interest to do a really good job. Ironically, I have noticed that although I supposedly have some decent brain power, it chooses what it wants to learn, and when it wants to learn it. And thus, if I don't find it interesting, it is like making a baby eat squished up peas - it is just a fool's folly to think you are not gonna get most of it all over the place, and very little is gonna stick.

Going with the theory that people actually read my blog (of which I don't think many people do) I think someone is gonna yell at me about this entry. So let me clear something up. I am not giving up, I am not stupid, and I will be a lawyer when I am done. But hell, at least I am finally realistic about this, and I can work with what I've got. It ain't a lot, but it is mine, and I shall push on, kicking legal booty along the way.

Oh, and as a very happy side note, it is my brother Joe's birthday today. So....HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE!!! Love you lots, my favorite brother (ok, my only brother, but he's still my favorite....)

My parents came to visit me yesterday. I have never been so happy to see them. Which is silly, when it comes down to it, since I saw them less then a month ago, and I will see them again in another month. Well, they did bring me some stuff I had left at home, like my jacket and my microwave (it sucked not having a microwave). And my dad cleaned our new/old couch, so now we have a pretty couch to use in my living room. But I think the nicest thing was that I got to spend like 4 hours walking around my little piece of boston, showing my parents all the little places I go to. It was VERY cool (yes, I am a dork.) And it was nice to have my parents to talk to in person, and yes, to give me a hug and tell me I am smart an' stuff. Boy, I am a downer, huh? Needless to say, I am just a tiny bit happier with my place in the world. How long with this little euphoria last? Probably not long, but I loved it anyway. Spread hugs folks, it makes the world a brighter place!

BTW, a great quote to fit my week:

Giles: Quite a couple of days.
Buffy: My brain hasn't processed everything yet. It's not really functioning at the higher levels. It's pretty much, 'fire bad, tree pretty.' Anything more complex...
Giles: Understandable. Well when it starts working again, congratulate it on a good campaign. You did very well.....There is a certain dramatic irony in the way things turned out. Asynchronicity that borders on predestination, one might say.
Buffy: Fire bad, tree pretty.
- From Graduation Day Pt 2

Yeah, I would be Buffy in this situation, btw....

So it's 9/11 and apparently some pretty somber stuff is going on in the country (I wouldn't know, I am hiding in my room, drinking cold medicine." 9/11 did some pretty interesting things to this country. Homeland Security is a household word, some people STILL don't want to fly, and the military actually has too many people, for the first time in a LONG time. And let's not forget the fact that we now had a "reason" to mess around in Iraq. 9/11 will probably be one of those "defining dates," one of those times that we will tell our grandchildren about, just like our grandparents told us about when we dropped the bombs on Japan. It has become one of those rare "where were you when..." moments, moments that draw us all together, and yet, in the grand scheme of things, did nothing to make us a stronger country. We still fight amongst ourselves, like little children. Only little children are more tolerant then we adults are.

9/11 drew us together, and yet is helping to tear us apart. Now we have someone new to hate, outside our country. But in the country, some of us hate anyone who is, or might be, middle eastern. We really don't learn, do we? We hid japanese americans in camps during WWII, and we still use racial profiling in our police work (we say we don't, but let's be honest here, it is an easy way to narrow things down, now isn't it?) And let's not forget Matthew Shepard and the wonderful people who beat him to death. We (and I mean we as a generalization, not as each individual) need to start learning to live together, because hey, we are all one country. So stop this bullshit about he's different and she's different. Not to sound cliche, but everybody get together, try to love one another right now.

Hmmmmm....guess that was building for a while. Glad I got to rant. Time to take more cold medicine!

Well, I survived the week. And I did well in my hearing! Granted, all I had to do was argue one motion, but I did it well, damn it. I was soooooooo nervous, since the courtroom was packed! It was so different then what I was used to, since my court at home was not NEARLY as busy. However, I gotta say, when I was done, I felt pretty damn good. And my client was happy. So life is all good, here in my little niche in life. :-)

Time to stress. Trial is tomorrow. And I am soooooooooo nervous. Like scared stupid, which is stupid, because the damn thing is uncontested. Yes, that's right, the opposing party is not coming. So you'd think that I'd be fine, since there is no one to object, no one to have to object to, and very little to do on my part except present the case. And yet, I am scared stupid. I don't know what I am scared of. I'm not scared of the judge (I did work for one) and I don't think it is possible for me to screw up, really. But yet, nervous I am. Maybe this will build my self confidence or something. I dunno. Wish me luck, I am gonna go back to freaking out...