Another weekend goes by, and what have we learned?

1. Food poisoning/stomach flus suck. A lot. No questions asked.

2. When one has said food poisoning/stomach flu, one should give up on any attempts to eat, drink, function as a normal human or try to generally exist for the duration of said illness.

3. Re-emphasizing the no eating part. Seriously, it just makes the puking part worse. Stick with gatoraid. It at least changes the color of the vomit each time.

4. One should also give up on all hopes of taking any sort of drug to counteract the side effects of said illness. If one cannot keep down food or beverage, what makes you think the drugs will stay down long enough to work?

5. One should do everything in ones power to avoid said illness when one has been on a coffee/caffiene binge for 2 weeks. This will only lead to the double whammy of throwing up AND going through caffiene withdrawal at the same time. This leads to looking like a crack whore for the duration of the illness.

6. Once the afforementioned illness subsides, one should slowly sip gatoraid (I said SLOWLY, don't chug it!) until one feels better. Only when the gatoraid stays down for a few hours should one attempt to eat actual solid foods. Stomachs are tricky little blighters, and they like to torture the unsuspecting person with lulls of calm. Don't be fooled. Stick with the gatoraid.

7. I strongly recommend the blue gatoraid. Any blue will do. Not only is it tasty, but blue vomit is much cooler then vomit colored vomit.