Why I Should Be Jewish

Apparently being jewish is much more fun then being catholic. Granted, this should not come as a HUGE surprise, seeing as how the only fun parts of most catholic holidays are the pagan incorporations (santa claus, easter bunny, etc.) But jewish holidays seem to be a pretty good time. This was exemplified in my passover experience. Yes, I got to go to a seder yesterday at my friend's house. Granted, we did an abridged version of a full seder, but here's how it went.

Lot of cooking, involving small kitchen, a jew, a catholic and a smattering of julia childs. 25 degrees of bonus heat in the kitchen and lots of cooking later, seder was ready.

There is a seder plate with all the symbolic stuff on it: bitter herbs, a lamb shank (played this evening by a chicken bone), apple stuff whose name has been lost to me, a lettuce leaf and some parsley. Also set out was some wine for Elijah (who we let in later who takes a sip of the wine when no one is looking. This was later stolen by the catholics, modified to cookies and renamed "Santa") Oh yeah, and the matzo.

Then the guests. 3 jews (well, 2 jews and a half jew, but we'll go with 3), 2 former mormons, a catholic and a non-practicing christian. We all sat around the table (in the living room, around the coffee table) and got this party started.

And when I say party, I am not joking. Requirements for this holiday apparently consist of drinking 4 glasess of wine, making the youngest child sing in Hebrew and eat lots of stuff that is not particularly yummy stuff (like dipping parsley in salt water) to remind us of the suffering of our (read: the jewish people's) ancestors as slaves in Egypt.

After all the symbolic stuff, we hit the main meal, which ROCKED, as it was matzo ball soup, chicken, salad, potato kugel and, of course, fishlets. And horseradish. I love horseradish. And then more wine. And more hebrew. And then, once the cermonial stuff was over, lots more wine. The seder lasted till about 2 in the morning, and everyone left happy, full and at least buzzed.

So what have we learned from this experience? Well, no levened food is a bit weird (I am trying to do it for the week, and I am already regreting this, since no pasta kinda bites.) But Seder is fun. I know of no catholic holidays that have requisit drinking of wine. We all had quite a blast, and hearing mitch trying to remember the 4 questions and singing it in hebrew, heck, that was funny.

btw....I think this is how the jews convert people. They invite them over for a seder, get them drunk and then convert them. Sneaky jewish peoples. I know I love 'em.